


The Wrong Idea

by ineffablefool



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: (aziraphale is fat and round and beautiful thank you and good day), Asexual Relationship, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), No Sex, No Smut, Oblivious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Other, Post-Canon, Protective Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22772485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffablefool/pseuds/ineffablefool
Summary: The man was a stranger, not Gabriel or Sandalphon or any of those lot.  Just someone Crowley kept an extremely close eye on, each time the guy visited Aziraphale’s shop. The third time was when he approached Aziraphale.“Hello,” he said.  “Need a hand with those?”(Crowley tends to keep an eye on his angel, because Aziraphale is kind of oblivious sometimes.)
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 71
Kudos: 404
Collections: Aspec-friendly Good Omens





	The Wrong Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Please join me in the Soft Zone(TM), if you will, for some mushily romantic Good Omens fanfic which is also asexual and fat-positive! It's all my favorite things in one. Yay.
> 
> This story does involve use of the word "fat" applied to Aziraphale, but I promise it's always done lovingly. It also involves completely unnecessary references to Clark Ashton Smith (a bit which was popularized by H P Lovecraft), because that is how I roll.
> 
> There are also zero (0) mouth kisses again! Hi my ace and/or aro fam who prefer not those things. I hope you're all having lovely days and that you get to see and/or pet some kind of animal that you really like.
> 
> (Housekeeping note: I am once again very behind on replying to everyone's lovely comments, but I will get to them, because I love them and also I love all of you!)
> 
> I'm writing for the TV characterization, but I've decided that my written Aziraphale is visibly fat. Tumblr and AO3 user Squeegeelicious has created [this absolutely gorgeous artwork](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/post/189282541139/squeegeelicious-a-walk-to-the-ritz-for) for my first human AU [If Not Now, When](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20936816), which should help you know what to visualize as you read!

It was always Crowley who spotted them first. The angel was far too trusting. No long millennia of suspicion in his heart. That was all right. Crowley had always kept watch for both of them.

The man had been to the shop before. He’d also been at the cafe a few doors down, which was the first place Crowley spotted him; tall, rugged, dressed in very expensive clothes. His voice, when he talked to the cafe owner, was mellow and good-humored. His smile was charming and warm.

Aziraphale hadn’t noticed him, because he’d been too busy talking about the baby ducks they’d just seen at the park, and then he’d had his attention wholly taken up by the bit of cake thing Crowley was buying him. But the guy definitely noticed Aziraphale. And he’d left right after the two of them, had passed by on the pavement just as Aziraphale was unlocking the bookshop.

Not Gabriel or Sandalphon or any of those lot. Not someone Crowley would raise the alarm on just yet. Just someone he kept an extremely close eye on, each time the guy visited Aziraphale’s shop after that first day. Twice, browsing and then leaving. The third time was when he approached Aziraphale.

“Hello,” the stranger said, walking up to him. “Need a hand with those?”

Aziraphale peered at him over the books piled up in his beautifully fat arms, looking mildly surprised. “Ah, no, I’m quite all right.” Then, after a pause, “May I... help you?”

Crowley grinned from the shadow he was currently using to lurk in. _Do please say “No”_ , that voice said, _it would be such a bother to have to stop you buying something_.

The stranger grinned too, but his version was charming and open. “Oh, I’ve just been looking around,” he replied. “You’ve got an incredible collection here — you’re the owner, right? You should be very proud.”

“Y... es,” Aziraphale said, sounding like he was still listening for the dread words _How much is this one_. “Well, I wouldn’t want to say I was _proud_ of it, exactly, not really befitting an —”

He stopped before finishing the thought, giving a little shake that really didn’t come anywhere near knocking the top book off his stack. The stranger grabbed it in a smooth motion anyway.

“Whoops, wouldn’t want to drop this... oh. The variant second edition, isn’t it?”

Aziraphale beamed, all the doubt vanishing from his pretty face. “It is,” he exclaimed, “very well spotted. You’re a collector too, then? Forgive me, I’m used to dealing with customers who have rather less appreciation than my books deserve.”

“I’ve appreciated everything I’ve seen,” the stranger said. “No question of that.”

Crowley felt his jaw drop a bit. Did the guy seriously just —

“So if you’re A. Z. Fell, the A would stand for...?”

“Aziraphale.”

The man stepped a little closer, the charming, open smile back again. “Trey. And to be honest, Aziraphale, I didn’t really come in here to buy anything.”

“Oh, _good_.” Aziraphale turned to plop his books on top of another, pre-existing stack, which knew much better than to topple over. “Have you ever seen a copy of this misprint before? Let me show you, it’s fascinating...”

“Trey” handed the fancy misprint variation back to Aziraphale, then leaned in as the angel opened it, flipping through and pointing out whatever it was that made it so fascinating.

(Pages bound in the wrong order. Chapter five changed suddenly into chapter eighteen, so a character turned unceremoniously dead before resurrecting when the rest of five took back over. Crowley had been very proud of himself when he’d secured a copy for his angel back in 1824, and to Heaven with whether the emotion befitted him or not.)

Trey’s hand rested briefly against Aziraphale’s soft arm, the contact unmistakable even from over here.

“Reminds me of the French translation of Liber Ivonis — the later one, you know, where the entire last chapter was inserted at the beginning...”

“Yes!” Aziraphale’s round body shifted, just a quick little bouncing motion, the type of thing most people wouldn’t notice. Crowley did, because of course he did. The human Trey apparently did, too, because his smile changed for a half-second, looking almost shy. Aziraphale went on obliviously. “I did once have an opportunity to bid on a copy, but I had to pass it up at the time. Bit of a regret ever since, I can assure you.”

“I actually had the opportunity to see it in person not so long ago. I’d love to tell you about it, maybe over coffee...?”

Aziraphale finally maybe noticed just how close they were standing. Trey’s hand touched his arm again, definitely admiring all the lovely round softness there which Crowley had already been admiring for the entirety of human history, thank you. His smile was wider than ever, and the worst thing was how completely sincere it looked. Especially after the brief heart-eyes over Aziraphale’s happy wiggle. Guy had probably taken those three visits to the shop just to work himself up to actually making a move. Had probably thought he’d hit the jackpot, Aziraphale being both gorgeous _and_ a fellow book nerd.

But there was a look on Aziraphale’s face now, like maybe he was getting annoyed with this line of conversation, like mister human Trey was being just a little too familiar. Which was Crowley’s sign to mount a rescue. Always getting himself in over his head, was Aziraphale.

He flowed out from his lurking shadow, angling around to come up behind them. “Angel,” he said, and Aziraphale turned toward him, almost like the world’s most beautiful flower, if Crowley could be said to be anything like the sun.

“Crowley,” he said. Closing his book. Trey didn’t quite jump back, as Aziraphale set the volume aside, but he did move fairly quickly.

Crowley walked right past him, into Aziraphale’s open arms, and when soft pink lips brushed his cheek, he made a sound which only a blessed liar would describe as purring.

“Darling, where _have_ you been all day,” Aziraphale said, giggling as Crowley kissed his pretty second chin. “I was just —”

He looked around. “Oh. Hmm. He seems to have left. Not sure what he actually _wanted_...”

Crowley held him close, all the perfect softness of him, and tried very hard not to laugh at him quite yet. “Think he wanted to date you, Aziraphale.”

“Oh, I’m sure that can’t have been it.” A brief scowl passed over his face. “He might have been angling to buy that book, now that I think about it.”

“He,” Crowley said, kissing one plump cheek, “was hitting on you. Really obviously, too.” He grinned. “Think he’s been crushing on you for weeks.”

Aziraphale made a frustrated noise. "Well, then he should have just _said_ something, so that I could let him down gently. I thought we were talking about books!”

There was a very clever reply in there somewhere, about people who could have just said something, maybe not for the first long while, sure, but certainly after the whole thing in Tadfield. Who didn’t _have_ to just continue keeping everything to themselves for months until a certain demon had had to do all the confessing himself. Terrifying right up until the moment he’d suddenly found his arms full of beautiful fat angel, that’d been.

The reply would be very clever, but Crowley decided not to make it. Instead he leaned his cheek against Aziraphale’s hair. "Well, you’re safe from his wiles now. Don’t think he’ll be coming back again, now he knows he’s not the only one around here with good taste.”

“Oh, his wiles, you say? Then who will save me from yours?”

Crowley didn’t even have to see Aziraphale’s face to know that he’d be smiling. Really smugly, too, and he’d look absolutely adorable. Blessed bastard.

He tightened his arms around him, very carefully. “Save yourself any time you want. Just... let me down gently, is all.”

Aziraphale pulled back at that, a little line forming between his eyebrows. He took Crowley’s chin very firmly in one dimpled hand.

“ _Ridiculous_ serpent,” he scolded. “As if I’d _ever_ let you get away now.”

He turned Crowley’s head as he went up on his toes. Pressed tender lips to Crowley’s temple, to the coils marked out in ink.

“Hrng,” said Crowley.

“And that was, in fact, me ‘hitting on’ you,” Aziraphale added primly.

“Right,” said Crowley.

“Just to be sure we’re quite clear.”

“Clear,” said Crowley.

“So if you’d like to discuss the matter... perhaps over coffee...?”

“Coffee,” said Crowley, “sounds excellent. And a pastry for you.”

Crowley followed him to the front of the shop, waiting for him to pull on his coat, then held the door open for him. They set off down the pavement side by side, although Aziraphale stopped after only a few paces.

“Oh — and Crowley?”

“Yes, angel?”

He snuggled up against Crowley’s side, making a happy little sound when Crowley put an arm around him and squeezed.

“You’d best stay very close, my dear. I’d hate for anyone else to get the wrong idea about us.”

“Us,” said Crowley, before grinning all the way to the cafe.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you were thinking of leaving a comment, please know that I treasure every single one. I've literally cried a few times reading some of the lovely things people have said, and they really are fuel for my soft little heart -- but never, ever required, so please don't feel pressured. 
> 
> If you want to say hi on Tumblr, I'm [ineffablefool](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com) there, too.
> 
> I would never actively request art from anyone I wasn't paying, but if you, the human reading this, were to decide it was worth your time to create fanart based on any of my stories, I would be incredibly honored ([and would love to enshrine it forever on my Tumblr](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/tagged/ineffablefool-gets-fanart-from-lovely-people))! I have only one requirement: please don't draw Aziraphale any thinner than the size I headcanon (I need both my soft cuddly daydreams, and my positive fat representation). Here are some examples of what that sort of minimum body size/shape might look like: ([beautiful fanart created for me by Squeegeelicious](https://ineffablefool.tumblr.com/post/189282541139/squeegeelicious-a-walk-to-the-ritz-for)) ([speremint 1](https://speremint.tumblr.com/post/186342035100/i-did-this-instead-of-my-hw-ya-girl-is-gonna)) ([speremint 2 from her Reversed Omens AU](https://speremint.tumblr.com/post/186574829700/finally-finally-done-making-these-refs-my)) ([dotstronaut](https://dotstronaut.tumblr.com/post/186740069618/no-really-i-dont-think-you-all-understand-how)) Otherwise, the characters can look however you like!
> 
> I hope you're having a fantastic day.


End file.
